“Never give from the depths of your well, but from your overflow.” – Rumi
The biggest struggle in life we all face is to love and accept ourselves. We are too busy caring for and loving others that we don’t even put ourselves in the priority list. Lack of self-love means we discredit ourselves for the things we don’t have, haven’t achieved, our flaws, and weaknesses. We are more prone to believe the negative things that people say about us and thus, start the journey of seeking validations from others. This attitude is even more dangerous for our mental health and wellness when we are down in the dumps.
All those negative emotions keep rushing back when you are depressed, sad, or anxious. Isn’t it about time you broke this cycle? Practicing self-love can help you to break free from self-doubt, self-hatred, and, most importantly, tear down the walls that you have built against self-love. It will encourage you to be more empathic and caring towards yourself.
When you become your own best friend, it gets easier to pull yourself up when you are down. Here are a few ways you can love yourself and as a result, boost your wellness:
The best way of banishing your darkness and lifting yourself up is to forgive yourself. Indeed, that is easier said than done. Start by reminding yourself that you are human, and all humans make mistakes. It is okay to mess up, it is okay to be sad, and it is okay not to be your best self all the time.
Perfection is merely an illusion; let go of the mistakes and errors you made. The important thing is to focus on what you can do to be present in the moment and make each day count. Accept your flaws and strengths.
Remind Yourself You Don’t Need Anyone’s Validation
Start living your life on your own terms. You don’t have to follow what others are doing or what they are expecting you to do. Listen to your intuition and embark on the path you want to be on.
Avoid waiting to receive validations or permissions from others to love yourself and do the things you love or are passionate about.
Practice Self-Care beyond Skin and Hair Care
When people talk about self-care, they mostly focus on skincare or hair care. While that is a great way to practice self-love, don’t hesitate to do more. Self-care is all about treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Learn to say no – to people who drain you, to things you are not comfortable with, and to situations you don’t want to be in – even if others are disappointed.
One of the most effective ways of a quick pick-me-up is meditation. Taking deep breaths and focusing on your breathing will help calm you down and reduce your stress levels.
Try practicing mindfulness meditation every day to untangle your messy emotions and thoughts. Just a few minutes can make you happier. Set aside 10 minutes each day for meditation to enhance your self-love. Moreover, do some meditation exercises whenever you feel depressed or stressed to alleviate your mood.
Do Things That Make you Happy
When you are down, all you want to do is curl up on the couch and do nothing. Indeed, there are times when that is all you need, but try to do a few small things that can bring you some joy. For instance, simply light up a scented candle or cuddle your pet. That’s not so bad, is it?
There are so many more small things you can do to lift your spirits, like taking a bubble bath after work for a few minutes. This can instantly perk you up. How about whipping up a cup of hot chocolate and snuggling in your bed with a book, listen to music, or watch a movie?
Understand Some Things Are Beyond Anyone’s Control
Often, things are beyond our control and our desire to be in control is the reason we start feeling depressed. Examine your situation, identify the stressor, and determine whether or not you can do something about it. This will help you to unburden the stress you were constantly placing on yourself.
There are numerous changes that you can make in your life to promote self-love; even the small ones can result in a drastic positive outcome. If things don’t get better, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Getting a proper counseling session can help you to learn ways to handle stress and depression in healthy ways.
No matter how bad things get, the love you have for yourself will help you through everything. Make yourself a priority, practice self-love, nurture yourself, and you will see a significant difference.
Mike Samar is a trained counselor at Mind Wellness Counseling providing evidence-based holistic approaches and guidance for people. He helps identify the main issues and creates actionable steps to help individuals make a positive change in their lives.