The number of divorces is growing worldwide, especially when it comes to developed countries. However, this trend shouldn’t necessarily be labelled as negative. Sometimes it is better to leave a toxic marriage than to stay and suffer or even worse, let your children suffer. Admittedly, moving on successfully after a divorce isn’t easy, so you’ll every form of help available.
Some people are afraid of showing their emotions, so others have a hard time telling that something is wrong. In fact, a lot of people might require professional help to get through the divorce but they fail to reach out and endanger their mental health. Whether it’s your brother/sister, a close friend, or a psychotherapist, you need to convey to them how you feel so they can help you.
Your mutual friends will take sides
It would be great to remain friends with everyone you met as a couple but this will prove impossible. You will keep your old friends (if that’s an appropriate word choice) but mutual friends will be forced to pick sides. Thank the ones who decide to remain on good terms with you and don’t hold a grudge against the ones who side with your ex. It wasn’t an easy choice for them either.
Focus on the good things in life
Your marriage might have fallen apart but it’s not the end of the world. There are still a lot of things in life to look forward to, especially if you have children. Living in the past and keeping your focus on the divorce process will damage your mental health, turning you into a depressed person. If you’re unsure what it is that still makes you happy, feel free to make a list.
Leave the children out of it
A couple without children can have a painless divorce but if you have children, then things might get complicated. Unlike adults, children have a hard time understanding what’s going on and they might feel guilty for their parents’ divorce.
To avoid dragging the children in the whole shenanigans, you should hire experienced family lawyers to take care of custody issues. Don’t let go of your children but leave the fighting for the courtroom, where it belongs in any civilized society.
Hiring a family lawyer will also calm you down, as they have handled hundreds of cases before and know how to approach a client. Listen carefully both to the legal and personal advice they have to give you.
One step at a time
Wreathing a divorce is a real success but just like any other accomplishment, it is comprised of countless small victorious steps. When things go downhill, every little victory counts, so even a brisk walk in the park or driving to the countryside to see your parents can lift your spirits.
These seemingly unimportant and unrelated victories should be built upon until you regain your emotional strength. Moving on following a divorce is a process of reinventing yourself through pleasurable trivialities; it’s that simple.
Let love come to you
A hard divorce leaves emotional scars on the person going through it. You either rush into a new relationship or you are terrified of meeting someone new. There is no uniform advice we can give you on this issue.
The best way to go is to listen to your heart and if you meet someone special, be ready to emotionally invest yourself. Just because your previous marriage failed, that doesn’t mean every new amorous relationship is doomed to fail.
We spoke earlier about all the friends who are going to remain by your side. However, as bouts of depression and anxiety set in, you feel the urge to distance yourself from society. This is perfectly normal but now is the time you need social contact the most.
Even if you don’t feel like it, force yourself to dress up and meet your friends for a drink. Through talking with them and having fun together, the grieving process will be a whole lot easier. Also, don’t stop communicating with colleagues at work, as they too can help you move on after a divorce.
You need to accept that successfully moving on after a tough divorce is foremost a process. Time is a great healer but in order to last long enough to avoid emotional burnout, you need your friends and family more than ever. Even friendly advice from the family lawyer will prove helpful.